It is nearly impossible to be grateful and have self-pity at the same time. They are practically rivals. Self-pity steals our joy like nothing else. It makes us lose hope and faith in God, and nothing good ever comes from feeling sorry for ourselves.
Ps. 100 states very clearly that thanksgiving and praise ushers us into God’s presence. It doesn’t say anything about self-pity. In fact, I think it might be the opposite. If praise ushers us in, self-pity ushers us out of His presence.
For many years I’ve worked hard to get rid of self-pity in my life. I’ve not always been successful (for which I am sure family and friends can attest), but for a long time I’ve known that it never did any good, and it could actually be harmful to go down that road.
God’s plan is always good
I believe with all my heart that God has a good and wonderful plan for my life. But I also know that I can never see the full picture, or whatever comes next, that He needs to prepare me for. He never promised a pain free life, but He promised to use everything we go through for good. (Rom 8:28).
There might be things in this world that I ask for, but even this past week I found myself telling God again, that the only thing I truly want in this life, is to live out the call He has for me. And I know He knows that, because I’ve seen Him hold back good things, so I could have the best, many times. And it has always been worth the wait or the pain.
I know it might mean that my life will look different than everyone else’s. Maybe it means I won’t fit in places I might like to fit. Maybe it means I won’t have the mainstream things, that everyone else seems to have or work towards. And yes, I do sometimes look at that and say, ”Jesus, that would be nice. I would like that.” But I will always come back to the one thing that matters more than anything else – did I live my life for Him?
When my life is over, I want to stand before Jesus and know that I did all I could to follow His plan. This life is so short, but how we lived it, matters so much in eternity.
I even had an email signature once (for about ten years actually) from a favorite song that says, “When it’s all been said and done, there is just one thing that matters. Did I do my best to live for truth? Did I live my life for you?”
It was common to have an email signature in the early 00’s and most people would change them ever so often. But every time I thought about changing mine, I just couldn’t because it was still so much my heart’s true desire.
So, all that to say… if or when I start to feel sorry for myself, I fight it hard. Self-pity is like saying to God that I don’t trust Him. That there must be something wrong with His plan, because I have some pain, and I know better.
Being grateful overcomes self-pity
My best weapon against this is to be grateful. I start listing everything I have to be grateful for, and I speak out loud that I trust His plan. And as hard as some things might be, I trust His promise to use it all for good. This season won’t last. At some point the preparation is done.
God didn’t take the Israelites the direct way from Egypt to the Promised land. They came from a life as slaves, and now they had to be warriors. They needed to prepare for the new life, with a new mindset. He took them on a detour, even before they had to spend an extra 40 years in the desert.
He knows so much better what we need, even before we get there. And in His wisdom and grace He prepares us for it, so we are ready when we do get there. Even if that means taking us on a detour, sometimes.
Whenever you have a choice between being grateful or ‘pity-full’ (full of self-pity), I just encourage you to take up your sword and choose to be grateful and joyful. Let Him usher you into His presence where life and love and joy overflows.
